My new neighbor recently requested me to recommend someone who can adjust her TV antennae and fix a missing power socket. As I listened, I was confused since she’s married with grown kids who should help. My husband does all the housework, so it seemed weird that my neighbor pays someone to fix their sockets, power cables and bulbs.
If you’re like her and thinking, “my husband won’t fix things around the house”, don’t worry. Men are wired differently, and there has to be a reason for this behavior.
First, try to understand him. Why won’t he fix things in the house?
What can you do?
Let’s find out.
My Husband Won’t Fix Things Around The House – Why?
A husband might not fix things in the house due to various reasosn like laziness, disinterest, lack of knowledge on fixing some things, forgetfulness and misleading stereotypes or beliefs. Additionally, you may make your man lose interest in improving things if he realizes that you always do the handiwork without asking for help.
While the handyman trait has everything to do with upbringing and interests, A recent CBS news study found that 72% of men with the ability to do essential repair work, 40% believed in calling a handyperson, and only 51% of men interviewed could unblock a toilet.
Should All Men Know How to Fix Things around The House?
Contrary to the belief that it’s a man’s responsibility to fix broken door handles, cabinets or window panes in your home, not all men are mechanically-inclined. Like other human beings, different men have unique strengths and skill sets.
Some women can fix anything around the house effortlessly, while their husbands prefer calling a handyman – even for minor repairs. The issue of a husband not helping around the house should not be a basis of gender stereotyping.
Why Won’t my Husband Do Anything Around The House?
House chores/tasks may deeply hurt a marriage if not evenly shared. When your husband slumps onto the couch all weekend watching documentaries while laundry, kids, shopping and general housekeeping overwhelms you, it may lead to stress.
Some of the reasons why your husband doesn’t help with house chores include:
1. Upbringing/ stereotypes and societal beliefs
Since ancient times, men went out to gather while women stayed behind looking after children, property and anything else in the house. Today, some men still believe that housekeeping is for women. Therefore, they’ll comfortably sit while you do everything around the house.
2. Lack of know-how
Men don’t know everything. If your husband won’t fix anything around the house, he may not know where to start and how to do the tasks.
3. Lack of concern or forgetfulness
Some men aren’t interested in doing house chores. They’d rather pay someone to fix things instead. Also, he may have a busy schedule at work, making him forget about things that need his attention in the house.
4. You fix everything yourself, so he doesn’t have to bother
If you’re among women who do things in the house independently, it makes your husband believe in your power to handle everything. He’ll always sit back and watch you fix things.
5. Pride and manly ego
Men get discouraged easily if you never appreciate their efforts, criticize/complain when he does a task or corrects them harshly. Such actions may hurt his ego, forcing him to leave you to do things your way.
What Can I Do if My Husband is Lazy?
If you’re wondering what to do if your husband won’t work in the house, try the following;
1. Discuss house chores and establish a win-win work division formula
2. Encourage him to do more by giving positive feedback, appreciating any of his efforts, and making him feel valuable whether he completes a chore correctly or not.
3. Don’t tire of reminding him about something you’d want him to fix. In a fast-paced everyday life, he may forget about home chores. Keep reminding him.
4. Allow your husband to work on what he should. Avoid doing everything no matter how badly it needs attention. If it’s a blocked bathtub, let him unblock it or call a handyperson. This makes him understand the areas that need his contribution.
5. Make a list of chores or home repairs and call a handyman. I know you may try all of the above to no avail. Instead of doing it yourself, hire a handyman. You may pay or request your husband to pay on your behalf.
Wrapping Up
The home is often in need of attention from all corners. A helpful partner makes life better and marriage blissful. But, not all men do house chores. Unfortunately, it’s a trait you can’t discover early enough before settling into marriage.
When you have so much to take care of, it’s disappointing that your husband won’t fix things around the house. Whether he lacks the know-how or interest, is forgetful or finds home chores a women’s thing, paying for a handyman would greatly help.
Nevertheless, don’t give up. A research by council on contemporary families found that more men are gradually doing house duties unlike before.
Discussing sharing of chores, reminding him to assist and positive commendations are practical ways to encourage your husband to do tasks at home. It may take time before he adapts, but the help you need will eventually arrive.
More to Read:
- My husband is a lazy parent, how to deal with him?
