Feeling Unattractive During Pregnancy – 9 Ways to Overcome

Pregnancy / By

In my second pregnancy, I was elated once the ultrasound confirmed it was a girl! I shopped for sexy maternity wear online and was crazy about pink baby accessories. I was all set to enjoy the journey ahead.

Surprisingly, my third month changed everything. The initially glowing face became full of acne, I added ten pounds within weeks, and my swollen legs could only fit into non-fashionable crocs! These changes made me feel UGLY!

Like me, a lot of women end up feeling unattractive during pregnancy. That’s okay.

feeling unattractive during pregnancy

Below, I have researched self-esteem in pregnancy and how to handle this undesirable feeling.

Feeling unattractive during pregnancy, Why?

Body changes that make you feel unattractive while pregnant include, Melasma, spider veins, skin tags, acne, linea nigra, stretch marks, and weight gain. As your body transforms to accommodate the growing baby, the hormonal shift may make you moody and unhappy and occasionally leave you feeling ugly.

Some women are lucky to have glowing faces and cute bumps. However, that may be different for others. Worry not if yours is saggy skin with excessive weight that’s troublesome to carry along. Whether it’s the stubborn acne or the fast-growing hair on your legs, remember, it’s all about your bundle of joy.

Sometimes, you’ll experience mixed emotions towards your partner, making them feel ignored. Nevertheless, do not blame yourself. Bodies react differently during pregnancy. Every woman is unique, and don’t let it make you feel below the popularized beauty standards. Besides, many women are feeling the same.

Embrace any new changes without comparing them with other pregnant moms or previous pregnancies. Further, understand yourself and give your loved ones a chance to take care of you. You are doing a great job. I assure you that soon you’ll bounce back to your desired self.

Is It Normal To Feel Unattractive During Pregnancy?

The short answer is yes. Pregnancy and parenthood are full of contradictions, transformations, and changes. You’ll undergo substantial physical and emotional changes with the enormous hormonal shift. You may experience sadness or anger feelings one moment and the next, you’re happy.

As your baby grows, expect some weight gain, which may be too much sometimes. Pregnancy changes your eating patterns, not forgetting its crazy food cravings. It can be frustrating when your sexy maternity wear can’t fit you anymore. Relax; you’re still attractive.

These changes may make you feel unattractive, especially to your partner. It is okay to feel so. Furthermore, you’re getting ready for a new phase of parenting which comes with new developments. Interestingly, an Intercult Study found that many men are naturally attracted to pregnant/lactating women.

Body Changes In Pregnancy That May Affect Your Self Esteem

As you go through every trimester, your body adapts accordingly to accommodate the growing baby. It produces more hormones that may make you feel beautiful. For example, some women get thicker, blacker, silky hair during pregnancy. On the flip side, you could notice changes that lower your self-esteem. Such body changes include:

  1. Stretch marks – As your breasts, belly, and hips get bigger, they stretch the skin around them, causing stretch marks. This is a cause of concern for pregnant women to the extent of denting their self-esteem. The majority of them fear exposing their skin.

While numerous beauty brands offer solutions for stretch marks, it’s often hard to treat them effectively during pregnancy due to the progressive changes. After delivery, you can get a laser treatment for the scars.

2. Melasma – This is a condition affecting facial skin. Caused by hormonal changes, Melasma is characterized by brownish patches on your chin, forehead, or cheeks. The resulting uneven skin tone makes one feel undesirable.

3. Acne – Pregnant or not, acne is notorious for creating a low self-image. You may not be among the lucky women who get a beautiful glow. That’s fine, as every pregnancy is unique.

Take it lightly and only try mild natural acne treatments. If your acne is disturbing, visit your dermatologist for medical attention. Once your baby is born, your hormones will normalize and the skin issue will gradually improve.

4. Linea nigra – Imagine a black-brownish line on your once smooth belly? It can be frustrating for any woman. Increased hormones force the production of melanin, leading to hyperpigmentation. The excellent news is that linea nigra fades naturally over time.

5. Excessive body hair – long, silky hair on the head is enviable, but when it grows wildly on your legs, arms, and other body parts, it makes one feel unattractive.

Pregnancy hormones may cause hair overgrowth in weird places, including the chest, abdomen, and back. It’s harmless to shave or wax the hair to boost your self-image, confidence, and esteem. After early six months post-delivery, the hair growth will return to normal.

6. Skin tags – These are tiny polyps that appear at the back of your neck or underarms. They result from excessive skin cells-production due to hormonal changes. While they aren’t dangerous, skin tags aren’t beautiful, either.

7. Unusual weight gain – Putting on some extra pounds during pregnancy is healthy. Unfortunately, some women gain excessive weight, which gives them a weird-looking shape. This development makes it difficult for you to dress in sexy maternity clothes like other women.

feeling unattractive during pregnancy

9 Tips On How To Feel Attractive While Pregnant

With all the new changes coming your way, feeling unattractive and unwanted during pregnancy is common. However, all is not lost. There are practical ways to improve your self-image as follows:

1. Focus on the positives of your pregnancy journey Instead of worrying about how shapeless you’ve become, celebrate that your baby is healthy and the pregnancy isn’t full of health complications. You’re already doing fantastic work of growing a being inside your body.

2. Keep your thoughts, talks, and interactions positive

It’s okay to look at yourself in the mirror and feel ugly. Keep off discussions and thoughts that lower your self-esteem. Only take what’s positive and uplifting instead.

3. Avoid people & things that make you hate yourself

What makes you feel like an old, shapeless sack? Is it looking at cover models or sexy bumps on a pregnancy? Could it be images of other well-toned expectant moms on a parenting forum?  

Take a break from such forums and forego reading the magazine until you are ready to work on undesirable parts of your body. It’s nearly impossible to change your shape and size while pregnant.

4. Be yourself

While beauty standards worldwide exist, don’t struggle to look a certain way. Forget your oversize/ swollen feet, large breasts, big tummy, or acne breakouts, and be thankful your pregnancy is progressing smoothly.

Accept the new changes and do not compare your appearance with others. Further, avoid comparisons between your current and past images.

5. Believe you look attractive to your partner

… Unless he says otherwise. Your thoughts and emotions might trick you into feeling unattractive to husband during pregnancy. This may be untrue.

Surprisingly, your body could be a serious turn-on. Despite the changes, it’s best to assume that your partner still finds you appealing. Try to protect your thoughts and feelings.

6. Do things you love

Spend more time doing self-care and fun activities that improve self-image, esteem, and confidence – Instead of worrying about looks, redirect your energy to exercising, reading, watching a movie, sensual massages, and shopping sprees.

A simple walk or meditation session may leave you feeling confident with better mental health. Interestingly, when you hold yourself in high-esteem other people quickly follow suit.

7. Allow yourself to feel unloved/unattractive

It’s Okay, don’t feel guilty for feeling unattractive. However, it would help if you didn’t sit in the same spot forever. Accept the situation gladly and find positive ways to move on.

8. Create a support system

Surround yourself with close friends and relatives who understand the intrigues of pregnancy. Such people are crucial in giving positive affirmations and assisting when necessary.

9. Join a psychosocial support group

Nothing beats the encouragement from people who have gone through your situation or are in the same boat at a specific moment.

Being part of a group of pregnant or nursing moms near you is an excellent place to start. Suppose you can’t find one, search online for groups where pregnant women vent feelings and share encouragement. Such are the best forums to learn from other people’s real-life experiences.

You indeed have no control over pregnancy hormones. Nevertheless, you can work on your thought process. What’s on your mind translates to how you feel. Think more positively about yourself, and you’ll start feeling good and attractive.

Wrapping Up

It’s not uncommon to find concerns like, “I’m feeling unattractive during pregnancy among pregnant women.

First, start by acknowledging that the feeling is normal. You’ll experience physical and hormonal changes that give you a new shape or size.

You may get acne instead of a glowing face or ugly stretch marks, but that’s okay. Every woman is unique.

Staying positive, avoiding things triggering negativity, and joining support groups are practical ways to improve your self-esteem during pregnancy. If feeling attractive hurts your emotions, talk to a professional therapist.

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